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Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

I am officially over due today.

I woke up at some odd time this morning while The Other Half and Peanut were still dead asleep, woken up by a strange dream of catching up with someone I haven’t met in the last 4 years or so, having a long conversation that is familiar and filled with inside jokes we used to share, woken up with the single thought of how I should drop him a note just to say hello.

And then when fully awake, I realised that I don’t actually share that familiarity with said person, or that many inside jokes anyway, thus leaving me completely confused and unable to return to sleep, blissful sleep, wherein I forget about my progressively painful pelvis, and all the people who constantly tell me that 2nd babies have a tendency to be early, or the impending phone calls asking me whether I have delivered, or all the mounting problems at work.

Should I send the email or not? I was quite fond of said person. He made me laugh like hell at some points of my life. And at other points of my life, I had a crush on him that never went away. And then it did. And then we ran into each other a couple of times more after that for a cigarette or a drink in the sunset along the river, a shared solidarity borne out of a shared experience of six months diluted by the number of years between then and now. All when I was gloriously single and unpregnant, now I am on the brink of being mother of two.

Pregnancy does strange things to your head. You start dreaming about all kinds of things that you’ve never actually thought about in years, buried deep in your subconscious with the grass all grown over and no X to mark the spot.

I should be really good at waiting, given what I do for a living and the fact that I have a judgement overdue since January and I am still patiently waiting nonetheless, downing cups of tea in the bar room, reading every section of the news paper, finding people to chat with.

But there is no bar room here. There is no tea to drink and no one to chat with. I am stuck in a dark place with little distraction from my acute and increasing physical discomfort or mounting boredom.

And in this dark place, I sit as comfortably as I can manage, sometimes pacing to alleviate the lower back pain, someimes just standing still concentrating on the movements and sensations of a being within me whom I have absolutely no control over, and wished and wished for all kinds of things.

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I had the following telephone conversation with my mother yesterday night.

She: What time are you coming over tomorrow?

Me: Same time.

She: Huh? Why so early? Aren’t you on leave?

Me: But that doesn’t mean that [The Other Half] doesn’t need to get to work, right?

She: Oh, okay. Since you are on leave, let’s go to East Coast to cycle tomorrow.

Me: Huh?! Okay.

Then after thinking about it for a while, I called my mother back and the following transpired:

Me: By cycling, do you mean that I stay at home with Peanut and look after her while Father and you go cycling?

She: No! We all go together! We haven’t been to East Coast to cycle for a really long time!

Me: But I am about to give birth at any time. What if I go into labour and have to be sent to the hospital?

She: Your father will send you!

Me: But both of you are cycling! I can’t cycle. I’ll have to take care of Peanut. And we can’t run after your bicycles together!

She: But then if you stay at home alone, there’s no one to send you to the hospital too, so there’s no difference!

Me: But what about my hospital bag and stuff? If I am at home, the bag is in the car downstairs. I can get the bag and get into a cab.

She: You can also get a cab at East Coast!

Me: [brain explodes]

If you think I am strange, you should meet my parents.

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You should never count on two men to defend your honour in front of a crying woman.

You will inevitably be branded Bitch of the Universe [because two men cannot handle a crying woman and will agree with whatever she says] and the justification will be that you are pregnant and hormonal and it will pass with time and that you are going on long leave soon so all the better.

Absolutely nothing about how you were completely justified and they agree that you were completely justified.

Seriously, what’s up with these men and their avoidance tendencies when faced with a crying woman?!

But then again, I also think that women are less forgiving towards other women.

Ah well. There is naught to be done. In the words of S:

So what if we agreed that you are the bitch of the universe? That’s no skin off your back what.

Yes, that true. Not like most people don’t already think I am the bitch of the universe anyway.

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I dreamt last night that for a long period of time, no one was talking to me. Everyone around me was talking about me but no one wanted to actually talk to me. It was really not pleasant at all.

Then Peanut woke me up at 7am to stuff both her bolsters in my face and demand my attention.

I wonder if that’s how Lion feels, that everyone constantly talks about him and around him and not to him.

So I rolled over and gave him a reassuring pat. He pushed back against my hand. Then I got up to entertain Peanut until The Other Half was ready to get out of bed to face the world.

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He: I have this matter with you. Someone called me yesterday morning and told me that you all are doing it in person and [The Buddha] is attending. I am waiting and no one is here.

Me: Yes, [The Buddha] is attending for me. I have given the file to him yesterday. He is currently not in his office. I don’t know if he is there or that he will do it via video conferencing.

He: What do you mean he is doing it by video conferencing? I have been waiting so long for him! I could have gone in to the video conference much earlier if you all didn’t tell me that you are doing it in person!

Me: Look, I gave him the file yesterday. He is doing it. I don’t know how he is doing it and he is not here for me to verify.

He: But that is not fair to me!

Me: Firstly, I wait for you all the time so stop being pissy just because you are made to wait for a while. Secondly, I am now about 38 weeks pregnant. Do you think that I remotely care if you are upset about waiting for my lawyer to show up?

*

She: ?!!!!! All that work for just $X??!? Well, I suppose costs is better than no costs. Just wrap up the matter.

Me: But that’s like how you all don’t want to pay my measly bill for $X for [this other matter] right?

She: You are getting grouchy. Please go on leave.

*

And that about sums up my interaction with people at work these days.

Hold your breath. It’s anytime now.

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2 weeks ago

[after being on hold for about 5 minutes]

Operator: All of our operators are busy now. Can I take down your name and phone number, Ma’am, and we’ll return your call shortly?

She: [stunned silence] But….aren’t you a phone operator?

Operator: Yes, I am. But I am afraid I can’t help you.

She: What do you mean you can’t help me?!

Operator: My job is just to take down numbers so that someone can return your call later.

She: But all I want to do is to redeem my reward points and I can’t do it on your website!

Operator: Oh! The website is currently down.

She: Means I can try again later?

Operator: Yes. Try again in about 2 hours. It should be okay by then.

She: That’s all I wanted to know. Thank you.

*

She: I think my feet are threatening to swell.

He: They are bluffing.

She: What do you mean they are bluffing?

He: Because they don’t have a good hand.

*

1 week ago

Message on the website when I click the “Redeem” button:

We are unable to process your request at this moment. If the problem persists, kindly call our 24-hour customer hotline.

*

I dreamt about being made to take my A Levels Econs exam again on Sunday night. Throughout the whole night, I had to constantly reassure myself while in my dream that I have been in practice for the last 6 years or so and so I can’t be made to take my A Levels Econs exam again.

So you can imagine what I felt like when I woke up and went to work the next morning.

I don’t get it, really. I get these dreams like once or twice every year. It’s been more than 10 years already! I think I have post-traumatic stress disorder or something.

And then I was told by The Buddha that he still has recurrent dreams of being made to take his A Levels Biology to this day. It’s been more than 20 years for him.

A Levels are evil, I tell you.

*

Today

Operator: All of our operators are busy at the moment. Can I take your name and number and we’ll call you back shortly?

She: No! You can’t call me back!! All I am trying to do is to redeem my rewards points and I’ve been trying to do so for the last 2 weeks but I can’t because the website is screwy!!

Operator: Oh! The website is down. You can try again later.

She: That’s what I was told two weeks ago!! That can’t be right!

Operator: Well, I can actually help you redeem your rewards if you want.

She: Thank you. All I want is five $10 Cold Storage vouchers.

Operator: Why don’t you redeem one $50 Cold Storage voucher instead?

She: Because I don’t spend $50 at Cold Storage at any one go.

Operator: But then it costs you less points to redeem one $50 Cold Storage voucher.

She: Look. I just want FIVE $10 Cold Storage vouchers. It’s just easier for me that way.

Operator: But it costs you more points!

She: It doesn’t matter. I’ve thought about it. Just do it.

Operator: Okay. Please note that we will deduct 100 points from you for the phone redemption.

She: WHAT?!?!? You are seriously going to deduct points from me because your website is down and I can’t redeem online?!

Operator: Look, I will try to do it from the phone redemption on my end. That won’t cost you any additional points.

She: THANK YOU.

*

I think Citibank has found a new way to make my life hell. I am also beginning to think that one day I might just cancel my Citibank card out of sheer frustration.

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a text conversation between an exasperated pregger and her husband

She: When pregnant Singaporean women write to the forum complaining about lack of seats in trains, I think most of them deserve to stand because chances are when they aren’t pregnant they won’t give up their seats readily.

He: Hear Ye I agree

She: I wanted to stab out the eyes of a woman occupying the reserved seat in the train with my knitting needles today.

He: Ask her to move

She: She saw me get on, promptly pretended to sleep, then when her phone constantly went off, kept her eye on me when waking up to answer her smses with a don’t stand too close to me look.

He: ask her to move la

She: I don’t ask people to move. I rather let them incur the bad karma. Sometimes I step on their feet for fun to see if they are really asleep. Especially with their open toe shoes and manicured toes. But alas she was too far away today.

*

In other happier news, Lion is still happily in situ and will probably be there for at least a month more.

Thank goodness! I spent the last week feeling like I would go into labour at any time and having these sporadic panic attacks at work. Or maybe that was just consequent from the fall into the drain.

More time is always good anyway.

My main worry is how Peanut will cope when I am away in the hospital delivering Lion. She’s getting a little bit more clingy to Mummy these days. She wouldn’t sleep or go to most places without me.

Oh well. We’ll just have to wait and see.

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