Archive for November, 2017

The fine line between a show of affection and a choke hold.


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It has just occurred to me that my inability to delegate more work to other people is directly linked to the fact that I am having too much fun doing the work by myself, stress notwithstanding.

I have no idea how to fix that at all.

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I'm back to listening a lot of Rachmaninov again.

I am going through a time where a lot cannot be said plainly so the Rachmaninov is a reflection of my state of mind. When Man have not found the words for the sentiment but have found the music.

These are interesting times. My inclinations are to take cover, put my head down, trudge along as usual, and ride it out.

And remember that good things happen to good people.

I told Overlord that if there is one thing to take away doing our line of work, it is that nothing lasts forever.

If you can't get the answer you want, try again with someone else next week / next month / when judicial sentiments change because there is a change of chief justices.

In the meantime, life continues and we all make do.

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I was so omfg angry yesterday evening that I told Associate Y who wanted me to look through her opening statement that I have nothing else left to invest in her problem.

But as much as I was upset, at the back of my head was a reminder that I must not stoop to a certain level.

So I did what every mature adult would do. I posted a Facebook status update consisting of Rule 7 (1)(b) of the Professional Conduct Rules about courtesy and dignity, then I got on with life.

A coupla hours later when I logged back into Facebook, I found out that a fellow lawyer, one of my erstwhile opponents, had commented on my status with "Woe betide to whoever provoked this post."

That made me laugh like hell.

I am less angry this morning. I guess what made me so angry was the fact that I was completely blindsided. Whoever did whatever to me was not someone I was deliberately an asshole with in my usual dealings.

I guess a lot of the anger arose from misplaced expectations, which is quite generally always the case. I probably need to manage my expectations of people better.

I need to remind myself of what JY told me as a first yearer.

No hope = No disappointment

It's funny because just yesterday I was having a discussion with Overlord and the kids about men who say they will call and don't.

So when I called someone and told him that I was really upset and he said he would retrieve the file and call me back, I guess it should be within my reasonable expectation that he will never call back.

Just as well. Life is not a cage match. I should not begrudge someone just because he is unable to face up to a direct confrontation. And if he didn't have the faith that I would be civil and polite, that is also to be expected because he does not have any experience with my professionalism.

Then I think about that 70-page judgement which is the subject matter of all of this acrimony, a judgement that just 2 weeks ago I was so proud of.

Every case in the book is a personal journey for everyone involved.

I want to retain my perspective and good humour. I want to hold on to that unadulterated joy from 2 weeks ago. It will not be taken away or subtracted from by whatever slant it later takes on in the aftermath.

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I was in a trial yesterday where my opponent objected to my suggestion that we break for lunch because her cross-ex was going on for too long and then objected when I asked for a 30-minute stand-down to prepare my oral closing submissions because she has a personal errand to run after.

I am usually quite accommodating and sympathetic when I do trials with inexperienced counsel because we have all been there. But when you are rude as hell? That's just unacceptable.

And seriously, I wasn't even asking her to stop crossing even though she had exceeded her allocated time! I was asking to eat lunch!!! So the judge doesn't become hangry! It was a public service suggestion!!! Have you ever had to deal with a hangry judge???

We won after all of that but because of how unpleasant the whole experience was, it was a rather worn out kinda win from having sat through hours of long, pointless textbook cross that took us all nowhere. We did drink at our usual Izakaya place after so it helped a bit.

Reminded me of what L used to say about such wins:

These wins are lousy because it's like punching a baby.

We all much rather work damn hard and beat someone brilliant.

When you find the answer to some other problem while researching for a more imminent one. You really don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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What is the social protocol when your ex boyfriend likes the picture of your erstwhile joint custody cat on Instagram?

Or when your ex boyfriend starts posting old pictures of you on Facebook?

Creepy much.

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We're babysitting Baby T today so we took all of them to the park.


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