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Archive for November, 2015

Having you show up at work as a lobster is completely unexpected.

I told my Associate to argue a contested application on his own and made him read textbooks and write submissions all afternoon and run through what he would say twice. Then after he left to get dinner and drinks, I text his opponent and negotiated a settlement.

I am officially asshole boss.

*
More emotional honesty –

"Why are we even having this discussion? Oh right. So that in 18 months, it can be taken as read."

"Why worry? Beyond your pay grade to worry about the trade offs I make. Your predecessors never had to worry about the favours I trade. And I drive a hard bargain."
"I believe you."

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From the party yesterday –
"When you said pizza party, I thought you were going to order a few pizzas and not that we had to make our own pizzas."

Equatorial Christmas at the Gardens.

Lettuce?

Kinda difficult trying to get a picture of the displays with no one in it.

I spent the morning running around the water play area in the Children's Garden after my kids. I am now stoned beyond redemption and hungry like crazy.

I gather that you don't like me very much, Starbucks.

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Pizza party!

Early birthday!

Gingerbread people 🙂

My alcoholic drink of choice at the end of the party.

This is super good by the way. I am slightly obsessed with it.

Stoned children at the neighbourhood hipster joint for light dinner.

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On my morning tea crisis –

A coupla days ago, I went to my usual joint in the morning for my chai latte and the woman at the counter, while handing my tea over, told me, "Ma'am, this is your last chai latte. After this no more."
"Huh? Why?"
"Because we ran out of tea."
"When will it be stocked again?"
"I don't know."

That was it. No let me tell you when it comes back or maybe you try next week. Just this is your last tea, goodbye.

When I got off the train yesterday, I was at a loss. I didn't know where to go and so I went into work without my tea, thinking that I was heading to a client's office later and maybe I can get my tea there. But the tea at the client's office was crap and I ended up having too much coffee at lunch leading to Overlord telling H that he should get a laser pointer to see if I will chase lights.

I'm standing in the train trying to decide where to go to get tea this morning and wondered whether the regular people were just trying to get rid of me or whether they expect me to drop in every day to check on the tea delivery status or something. Or maybe they can't be bothered, and I really shouldn't be drinking tea made by disinterested people who do not realise the importance of tea in the morning to someone's schedule right?

I'm getting off at the next stop and I have still no solution to my lack of tea issues. This sucks. I'll probably wander around and end up in the afternoon coffee place for solace and run into D. Meh.

Someone put sugar in my tea this morning.

NOoooOooooOooooo!!!!!

Now I gotta spend some time developing a relationship with the person making my tea in the morning so that she can get it the way I want. This well and trewely sucks.

"I cannot move my left hand such that my whole entire arm reaches to my back."

Neither can I.

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Brainstorm: Litigator style –

"So what argument are we running again?"
"This." *goes into long litany* "Are you following?"
"Yes, but I didn't recall it being so complicated when we last discussed it."
"Does it make sense?"
"Yes."
"Okay, good. You couldn't tell I just made that all up."
"You wanna write that down?"
"I can't. I am thinking as I speak. I am hoping that by telling you, you'll remember it for me."
"Erm…okay…"

And hence I have been more than a little preoccupied these days.

*
In relation to my black dress today –
"Why so serious today? My impression of you is that you are always very colourful!"

*
Conversations at the laundry shop –

"You are always bringing in the same clothes. Is this your work uniform?"
"Yes."

"Why don't you tell her that you're my boss? She probably thinks you're some service provider."
"But I am some service provider."

"So you only wear the uniform sometimes?"
"Yes."

"So when do you were your uniform?"
"When I have to go to Court."
"Oh!"

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At 8pm tonight, it occurred to me that today is my 9th wedding anniversary.

And I was still at work drafting Interrogatories.

I am such a fail adult on so many levels.

*
I came home and Husband said he doesn't want to talk to anyone because the cats puked all over the place.

So I left him to Minecraft while the cats gathered and tried to suck up to him.

And that's my 9th wedding anniversary: I worked like crazy and remembered only when Facebook prompted me to say happy birthday to someone which led me to go waitaminute isn't this person's bday my wedding anniversary?!

Maybe that's the secret to a longish marriage – by not giving too much of a shit.

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Conversation at a wedding –

H: You need to give OKCupid another try.
Me: This time we will write your profile for you.
L: Why?!
H: I am sure he can write his own profile.
Me: Have you seen his advices?!
L: You guys are always talking about me like I am not here.

*
Me: Thanks for entertaining my child at the wedding yesterday.
H: You're welcome. He was quite easily entertained.
Me: That's because he is easily amused, like his mother.
D: How were you entertaining him?
H: By showing him pictures of the Apocalypse Pig, of all things.
L: Talk about insensitive right? Laughing about the Apocalypse Pig at a Muslim wedding!
Me: Dude, at least he didn't ask me where all the single girls were like you did…

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