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Archive for August, 2015

It just occurred to me that my husband has a sink full of dishes phobia.

If there are less than 5 things in the sink, he will wash them all. More than 5 and he will just wash his own cup and leave the rest.

Which you can imagine is kinda frustrating when I am left to do the dishes, clean the floor, clear the litter boxes and get A and S ready for school while Husband suggest that I bring something to him to pick up while he drives by downstairs.

*
Dead files –
He: Could we have an update on this file?
She: The file was briefly revived in April 2015 but has gone to sleep again.
He: When can this be considered to be closed and buried 3 feet into the ground?

*
Making contact –
"Are you going to Court?"
"No. I am going to somewhere black tie and suit."
"Look. I need to pass something to Singh."
"Singh is not my friend right now."
"Tsk! I didn't ask you to be his friend. I am asking you to pass something to him."
"I am making contact with Singh. I can help you."
"Why you make him sound like an alien?!"

*
Sometimes I really wanna kill these boys.

"Can you go through these thought processes BEFORE coming to see me with your draft and not while standing here? Or is it that you need to come and see my face first before enlightenment happens?"

*
Got up for a trial till 9pm. Went home, ate dinner, then went out to run at 10.45pm.

I will survive tomorrow.

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Separately, whenever I hear people tell my kids to grow up and be a lawyer like mummy, I shudder in fear.

No one should ever feel compelled to practise law. The practice of law is a personal lifestyle choice you should make on your own so that there is no one else to blame at the end of a series of unfortunate days.

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"Don't you realise that there is currently an elephant in the room?"
"I do. But I have gotten so used to it that I am cuddling up to it."

Watching Inside Out –
When Regular popcorn was the size of your face.

Guess what's cooking?

Wait with me.

At 112degC….waiting…..

Toffee Apples for Teachers' Day!

@wanderinggoldfish

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A's lemon clock!

Oak Aged Cider.
This is…different.

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But the point about escaping is that you should escape to, as well as from. You go somewhere worthwhile, and come back the better for the experience.

Going for a late night run. There is absolutely no real reason why my socks should be this high save that I love high socks so every pair of socks I own are knee length.

Home sweet home.

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Once we have invented our gods and demons, we can propitiate or exorcise them.

A while ago, I gave someone who was being laid off a job. If it isn't apparent, I enjoy my work very much. I love the people i work with. We have been accused of having too much fun at work because we laugh so hard together every day.

So I thought everything would be great right? What can go wrong? She's going to work with a buncha supportive people who genuinely like each other and who are such great fun.

WRONG.

Said person came to work miserable from Day 1. She didn't take to the work. She didn't try to fit in. She didn't care for our general cheeriness.

In turn, it made me and the people I work with whom I love dearly miserable. It was a lesson to me in how I cannot save everyone. People who are determined to be miserable will be miserable. People who did not want to learn will just not learn.

So since she was miserable we all expected her to just quit her job right?

WRONG AGAIN.

She hung around in a cloud of misery and screwing up the work so we pick up after her. Then she took advantage of every single benefit she could by going on her full maternity leave then took all her statutory childcare leave AND THEN she finally quit.

We all heaved a sigh of relief. She's finally decided to stop torturing us. It's so nasty that last Friday she was wearing a T-shirt with a ginormous sad face emoticon on it.

I would like to say more about how I feel a little used but that being said, I also feel like maybe it's my punishment as I am partially responsible for everyone's misery vis-a-vis her since I sorta created the problem by offering her a job right?

Sigh.

*
"I've come to the conclusion that I can only have serious discussions with you when alcohol is involved."

*
The naughty corner –
She: Destroying books is a naughty corner offence in my household!
He: Yes, I will take care of the [reference book].
She: I will kill you if you spoil it, since there is no naughty corner here, unless we consider the under of D's desk.
He: Somehow when you say naughty corner and D together it sounds so very very wrong.

Later –
She: While you were away, I accidentally referred to the underneath of your desk as the naughty corner.
He: I don't even want to know what this is about.
She: I assure you it was completely innocuous on one part and completely tasteless on the other.
He: Yes, I'm so sure that was the case.

*
"Bye! See you shortly, if at all."
"Don't make short jokes at me!"

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Anxious cat.

Yes, she always looks like this. While I sometimes wished she were less weird, I love my manic depressive cat.

@veraflllly 😍

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The problem with too many suits in one place –

"I would love to say that I had a horrible lunch because I was stuck eating catered food with a bunch of people I didn't care to socialise with but I think you had it worse. I don't have your problem of too many suits."

*
On failed rescue calls (exchange on Whatsapp chat group) –

She: Call me now.
D: Hey L got no batt. He left for an appointment.
She: You guys are amazing team players. I am asking for a rescue.
D: Ok. Once he has charged the phone will call you regarding the interoggs.
She: SOMEBODY call me now so I can leave this meeting wtf.
K: Ah so!

I think I need that bad date rescue app. :S

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The not-so-mysterious bottle of water –

She: Ok. This is damn weird. He came back while I wasn't in my office and filled up my water bottle.
He: Get someone else to drink from it first.
She: Makes me wonder what he did wrong.
He: Let's not take chances. Buy coffee tip water into it. Wait half hour. Better yet. Empty it and refill.
She: Pour vodka in it.
He: Vodka kills germs. Doesn't neutralise cyanide arsenic.

I drank the bottle of water and lived to tell the tale. No, he didn't do anything wrong. He was just being sweet 😀

*
Terry Pratchett on childhood –
"I had a deprived childhood, you see. I had lots of other kids to play with and my parents bought me outdoor toys and refused to ill-treat me, so it never occurred to me to seek solitary consolation with a good book."

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You know what's annoying?

You get to Court early to get a queue number and then go off to lunch. While you are off to lunch, your opponent shows up and picks up the same number and calls your office to make a song and dance about how HE got an early number and you better come quickly.

Argh.

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"I was queuing up and freaking out inside at how I did not have a good enough excuse for an adjournment when I looked up and saw familiar forehead…"
"Oh!"
"Wow."

This is how I am ending my day.

I don't usually do beers or stouts but this is really quite yummy, except that I was reading a blurb online and it said that you will like this if you like drinking cold coffee left on your table and it reminded me of a familiar forehead.

Russian Emperor?

Take my money now.

 …it’s reminiscent of when you want caffeine so badly you drink the last of whatever’s lurking in the сafetière (we’ve all been there).

Currently on repeat.

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