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Archive for November, 2014

From way back when I was a serious Bon Jovi fan…

When I used to play this effortlessly…

And from when I was a serious Kimi Raikkonen fan…

I've started a new game today. It's called "Help! I have a problem!"
So I ask the children questions like:
"Help! My children are annoying me! What should I do?" or "Help! I have a whiny child! What should I do?"
The kids are supposed to come up with solutions to my problems. It's working out quite well so far.

Christmas display at Central.

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I can't pack boxes with my husband. I can't grasp the way he stacks CDs into the boxes without lining them up in the same direction.

Have a chewy chocolate cookie

At a wedding lunch –
Waiter: Do you want some wine?
Me: No, thank you.
He: What about your children?
Me: Wine?!
He: No need right?
Me: Yes.

Wtf.

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It just occurred to me that I have developed a snail-radar, even when walking along on my own.
Maybe this is the mark of motherhood.

One of the guards at my building just showed me a huge scampi he apparently caught in the Singapore River which he is keeping in his water bottle.
"I've been working here for 25 years and this is the first time I have caught something like that," he proudly announced.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that it probably escaped from one of the seafood restaurants along the river.

What I want to tell some people.
(Campo Marzio Bloody Red)

Hope

Grossly normal

Only the most amazing nuts ever.

What I say to my minions every Friday –
"YAY!! We survived another week! Thank you for your participation!"

Then I go off and kill myself in yoga class.

Today's yoga class was conducted by the blonde who does everything in slow-mo twice.
My muscles are weeping.

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I just read a 26page judgement which essentially demonstrated that these 2 dudes I interviewed in my office earlier this year were both liars.
I am so used to people lying to me in my line of work that I don't even feel affronted anymore.
But I have actually become quite good at telling whether a person is lying or not.
Too bad for my kids.

T bulk-ordered some omfg good sugared nuts online and had them delivered to the office.

"Sorry, I got to go off for a while. My nuts are here."
"Have you tried T's nuts? They are so f-ing good!"
"They are gourmet nuts."
"I can't stop eating them!"

We are so juvenile sometimes.

The octopus in my tea.

酒鬼 has been convicted of drink driving.

My daughter is random –
"爷爷, do you put hair gel? Will you become so old that you put your letters in the fridge?"

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Packing progress – We have packed 3 more boxes of books.
Have I ever mentioned that we have way too many books?

How SMRT has decided that I should make 2 extra trips this year end to fund their bonuses or forfeit my $5 for their bonuses –

Me: Can I exchange my card? The machine says it expires on 30 Dec.
She: You can only do it at a Transitlink ticketing counter.
Me: And where is that?
She: The nearest is Clementi.
Me: What are the opening hours?
She: They should be opened now.
Me: Look. I am not going to Clementi now. I am going to work so that I can pay for my transport expenses.
She: They are open from 9am to 9pm.
Me: Wait. You said they are opened now. But it isn't 9am yet!
She: *ignores me*

*speechless*

After transaction, woman returns me both my old card and my new card.
Me: What do I do with the old card?
She: Throw! Throw! Throw!! There's nothing inside! I transferred already!
Me: Can you help me throw it away?
She: No.

Because nice hair today.

Joy

"Can I settle all your High Court files while you are on leave?"
"If you have the mandate."
"Great!"
"And you need to come off smelling like a hero."
"Not possible. I don't have the hero gene."

A phone conversation in my best bitch voice –
He: Did you get my sms this morning?
Me: Yes. I did. I just didn't want to reply. What was it you were saying again?

T's foot vs. my foot

Cut and paste fail

Hot yoga on a cold day 💓

Monday afternoon in the Bar Room –
He: It's storming! We can't get to the car!
Me: I have an umbrella. You could get to the car and swing by to get us. But you may not want to carry my umbrella. It is a cabbage.
He: What do you mean your umbrella is a cabbage?!
Me: *rummages through bag and pulls out cabbage umbrella*
He: Oh.

Needless to say, he had another cup of tea and did not carry my umbrella.

Seen in one of my kiddies' books.

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I spent last night before bed watching clips from the 1963 movie Charade while trying to find clips of the Drip Dry Waltz by Henry Mancini.
I've forgotten how happy old movies make me.

On how ridiculous most industrial accidents sound and honest assessments –
"I have a judgement at 5pm for this case where my safety officer fell off the half constructed building onto the Plaintiff. It's a bad case. I think I might lose."

Or some road traffic accidents –
"My dude lost control, hit a lamp post, ricocheted off into a truck, and flew back into the Plaintiff's motorcycle."

And some legal arguments –
"You are asking for contribution?! How??!!"

I packed two boxes of books yesterday. I am quite proud of myself. I will start on my piano scores tonight.

…in spite of the fact that I have not used blue ink in years…

I was going to make my appeal bundles last week but was overtaken by events. I was just going to do it today when the Court called and told me that they needed to exchange some of the documents because of paragraph-numbering errors.
So I've been saved by my procrastination.
Times like these make me think that maybe there is a God watching after me.

On how cooperative my husband is –
Me: Should I go for yoga today?
He: Sure if you feel like it.
Me: I'm undecided.
He: Looks like it's going to rain.
Me: Thank you.

You see this little bit of chilli in my noodles? This is like only THE BEST chicken rice chilli EVER. It is made by my father 😀

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Today is our 8th wedding anniversary.

The Other Half will be sending Peanut to ballet class while I hope to go for yoga before heading home to dinner.

There will be no celebrations simply because we are so overtaken by events this year that no plans were made. Ideally we would have headed somewhere for dinner over the weekend but we had the kiddies’ year end concert to attend on Friday night and on Sunday night we attended Peanut’s ballet performance. We are also in the middle of renovations to the new place we are moving into, not to mention all of the stuff we have to do to get Peanut ready for primary school next year.

Oh well.

In this lull moment in the morning before I hop out to Court to do what I do for a living, here’s to 8 years of running this circus together. I wouldn’t dream of doing it with anyone else.

Au Petit Salut 2005

Au Petit Salut 2005

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