Archive for October, 2014

I am madly in love with Tim Booth.

Please remember never to stand between me and my caffeine in the mornings.
My husband drank my milk tea this morning because he was afraid that the milk might give me a stomach upset.
I was consequently completely useless at work until 10.30am when I got Secretary M to buy me a cup of coke from McDs and ate a mini Mars bar from Secretary A.
I am beginning to feel slightly more normal.

Mummy: Why is your collar such a mess?!
S: Because I need 姐姐 to fix it for me.


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Daddy: Why did you not listen to 公公?
A: …
Daddy: Well?
A: I'm thinking of an answer, Daddy! I'm thinking of an answer that is the truth!
Mummy: This cross-examination is getting nowhere.

On A turning down S's collar –
Mummy: Why is 姐姐 fixing your collar? You have to learn how to do it yourself! You're a big boy!
S: No, Mummy. I am only 4 years old. I'm still a kid.

Random phonecall I received from an old lawyer this morning –
"I heard that you have moved Calls before. Can you tell me what to say? My own Call was 30 years ago and I can't remember what happened!"
This is so funny because 2 years ago when I had to move the Call of my pupil, I remembered calling up various people to ask as well! Hehe.

S: I want an apple.
Daddy: Okay go wash it then bite.
S: I want it cut.
Daddy: No. Just bite like that.
A: Daddy, you know what? If I were you and S wants his apple cut, I will wash it and cut it.
Mummy: Good try.

I've been hemming my son's year end concert costume for the last two hours.
My eyes are about to fall out.

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Can you tell your teacher to give me more fabric for your costume because they obviously failed to account for your tummy?

Sometime last weekend –
J: Her house is really nice!
Me: Yes. But the lights look a bit S&M right?
J: I don't want to have this conversation with you right now.

Just now –
J: Hiiiiii!
Me: Why do you answer the phone with a sex kitten voice?
J: Why??!! Why???!!! Why do we end up having these conversations??!!

Telecon on my mobile phone –
He: Where are you? I call you and you are not there!!
Me: I went to the toilet! Do you have a problem with that?
He: No problems at all. So I call your office now? Make sure no one calls you okay? I call now!

I just realised that for some reason, I have possibly the most bizarre conversations with people on the phone on Wednesday mornings…

Overlord: Why are you all in the office? Why aren't you in court??!!
Me: Dude, you not happy that we are in the office clearing work? Then why is it that when we are all in court you call us and ask us why we are all not in the office clearing work?!

I don't understand why some people act like a bad outcome to the matters they have with me is due to some personal failing on my part.

I'm going to educate our children on how to participate in the Resistance. Catch you later.

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I dreamt about Mr Ong and woke up crying.

Snails that don't make it across the pavement upset me.

How can something so normal like the memory of reading Bach Partitas by lamplight make me cry so much?

Pour me more tequila
Raise the flames to fever

Overlord's daughter has been giving me her carton of milk from breakfast.
It just occurred to me today that I am helping her cheat in breakfast.

I just emailed someone to demand to know why they are charging me GST on top of the list price for a bottle of green ink when the price on the website said $18.90 incl GST.
I am becoming the Overlord.

Shit. They just replied and told me that it is $18.90 incl of GST and that they will make the necessary changes.
They also asked whether I am only buying one bottle of ink.
Now I feel compelled to buy something else. Wtf.

Good sense perservered. I only bought one bottle of green ink. Phew.

I don't think I'll ever love a place more than I love Holland Village.
When I was a kid, my mother used to take me grocery shopping at Cold Storage. I used to walk over after swimming classes myself for milkshake at Burger King. Then when I was a teenager, I used to lunch at Délifrance. I spent nights eating cheesecake at Billy Bombers. I worked at 2 different restaurants along Holland Village. I sat by the pavement after work, ate supper at Crystal Jade, cried and laughed and drank and smoked.

I kissed boys along Holland Village, danced along Holland Village, carried tables and chairs, ate ice-cream.
I cut my hair along Holland Village, thread my eyebrows along Holland Village, went on dates, broke up and made up along Holland Village.

After all the construction and makeovers, I still feel that tingling walking down the streets.

I'm so glad I am moving back to the West, closer to the place I grew up in, the place that grew with me.

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Create dreams from our pain.

J: Should we tell her that she looked really pretty?
Me: Actually she looks the same but in nicer clothes…
T: That is true.
Hence when I heard someone said at the wedding "Oh she looks really pretty today!" I involuntarily rolled my eyes.
If you have a history of looking stunning everyday, I don't think a change of clothes is going to change that.

"I need to take a photo with these service providers! They are a bit special. Cannot take photo with the rest!"
She has no idea how much truth there is in that statement considering that we had collectively intoxicated ourselves to the point of no return so that we don't have to talk to other people…

Strangest text message from an Associate ever –
"Can you help me unlock roadblock?"
*receives friend request on Facebook*

Nice to know that my friendship on Facebook is only good enough for unlocking stages to an insipid match-3 game…

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Me: I'm surprised I don't have a headache from all the drinks we had last night.
J: That's because we also had a lot of tonic water.

Me: I'm going to send her an sms to thank her for hosting us. What else should I say?
J: The food was great. The deco was nice.
T: We had a great time.
Me: We did?
T: Getting sloshed. Thank her for the Jack Daniels.

Yay! I'm back in SGP!

While watching the dragon fire someone in Hobbit –
Me: Ah!! So hot! So hot!!
S: Turn on the aircon already.

I have never been drunk in my life. I am always the girl who holds your hair back while you puke into the drain.

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The Seremban Weekend

I'm going away for the first time without my children.
I'm kinda torn.

Hotel Dude: There is nothing to do here. Here's a map so you can drive to Tesco.

This is all your fault, J! Now I will forever be tormented by these cute little fruits!

Because no one wanted to go to the wedding sober…

Flowers and lights

T's version of the good life –
Whiskey and Tonic (mebbe our fifth? We've lost count…)

After we've clearly had too much to drink…

It's okay if you don't like jazz.

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