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Archive for August, 2014

Napping pigeons

I've finally defeated Dr Zomboss in the Dark Ages stage.
It's time to go to bed.

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Because of a typo made by my IS department, Minion J found herself with an H in her login initials when there is no H in her name at all.

She: The H is just completely random.
Me: *gasp* It's a sign!
She: What sign??
Me: The Improbability Drive is at work!

While walking with Minion T to our watering hole –
He: Today while I was walking along Boat Quay I was kicked by a crow!!
Me: Now that is just seriously creepy. For the last 14 years or so, I thought that I was the only person who's ever been kicked by a crow.
He: Really?!
Me: Yes! I was kicked by a crow while I was walking to my piano student's house when I was 19!! It's a sign!
He: Good sign or bad sign?
Me: It's a sign of the Improbability Drive! Wait. I just had this conversation with J!

While standing in the waiting area with one of the Mr Singhs –
Singh: Don't you think she looks like Cruella De Ville?
T: That's a name I haven't heard in a long time!
Me: Funny you mentioned Cruella De Ville. My daughter just asked me to read 101 Dalmatians this morning!
T: THE IMPROBABILITY DRIVE!!

To add to the improbability, you know how I am currently reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy right?

A: Mummy, where are we going to go?
Me: Ally! You've asked me the same question many times!
A: Hehehe.
Me: Sometimes Munmy also asks the same question again and again hoping to get a different answer. You know what happens to Mummy when she asks the same question too many times in court?
A: What?
Me: Mummy gets scolded! The judge will say "Ms. L, You've already asked that question!" Then you know what Mummy says?
A: What?
Me: "My apologies, Your Honour. I will move on."

Saturday excursion

Came home to this. What's with cats and boxes anyway?

Me: Guys, before we go out I want you to drink a packet of milk.
A: Why?
Me: Because we are going to have dinner late and I don't want you to go hungry.
S: So we drink two packets of milk instead of one today?
Me: Yes. Do you have a problem with that?
A: No problems at all! I love milk! It is good for me! It is the perfect balance of highs and lows!
Me: When you say things like that, I don't know whether you are watching too much TV or you are being cheeky.

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I have spent two weeks after the departure of Commando and Catholic Girl went on Call Break doing 2 persons’ work.

Then I spent one week thereafter doing 3 persons’ work because Champagne Truffle went on holiday, a holiday he had booked because he thought that Commando would cover his work but then Commando left so tough luck.

So I haven’t done any of my own work for 3 weeks now. It is making my scalp itch and setting my teeth on edge. I am in perpetual high alert to duck in case anything explodes. I have spent many days laughing too much (because laughing is my coping mechanism) and many nights at home playing sad Chopin Nocturnes till midnight to wind down. It is not pretty.

Then on Monday, all the people on leave came back, much to my relief.

But The Buddha decided to have a protracted thermonuclear meltdown for an entire week, culminating in me spending two hours this morning just counselling people.

I thought that I could come into work today and look at my own files and answer my mail and feel better about life in general. But the morning is over, all I have done is to draft one overdue application and I have to scoot off to Court in the afternoon. This is just not happening for me.

I think I need a holiday from these people except that I have a new paralegal coming in on Monday and I have to reorganise the work to fit her into the team. So I am just going to down a shot of vodka (!!) and head out to Court to get on with the program.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate being middle management?

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Help comes when you need it most
I'm cured by laughter
Mood swings not sure I can cope
My life's in plaster

I spent the last two hours counselling two people.

I need an alcoholic drink.

Something a client said to me with regards to another lawyer –
"Everytime I call him he's not there! Is it because he always go for facial? That's why he looks so young?"

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I am in Court everyday this week.
Meh.

I won another bitch fight this morning.
Given that I have been winning bitch fights all week, I think I should quit while I'm ahead and play nice from this afternoon onwards.

Secretary A really spoils me. She is constantly washig my cup and topping up my water when she doesn't really need to.

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My opponent said to me "Eh no need to read your submissions hor. Just let him decide la. No time to read."
Now you know why I say that my wit is wasted on these people?
I might as well just be that party member with the low intell and low charisma but high dex so that I am damn good at dodging stuff right?

One of the Mr Singhs told me I looked thinner.
Ahahahaha!!

Text message from Minion T –
"I dunno why he is so eager to show off what a dumbass he is"

I am out of High Court PTC by 3.16pm! I'm ecstatic!

Another of the Mr Singhs told me today that I look too young to have been in practice for 10 years.
Hahahaha!

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The best thing that's happened to me thus far today is that I managed to paint my nails at my desk over lunch.

What makes me exceptional?
– My ability to laugh and make others laugh under any circumstances.
– My amazing memory for details. This has bailed me and others out of some seriously crazy circumstances.
– My creativity: My ability to draw parallels and see patterns.
– My passion: I throw myself into everything I do. I cannot function otherwise.
– My loyalty and sense of responsibility.
– My faith: That no matter what happens, God has a plan and everything will therefore all work out.
#prootw

Conversation in the car:
A: How do people name babies, Mummy?
Mummy: Usually the Mummy and Daddy will think about names that they like and decide what to call the child. Usually this involves attributes they would like the child to have. For example, Mummy named you Alethea because Alethea stands for the truth and Mummy would like you to always have the courage to be honest with yourself.

A: Then why did you call S a lion?
Mummy: Because Seph is the lion who guards the door to yesterday. Mummy believes that to face the future, you need to understand the past. So Mummy hopes that Seph will always face life with circumspection.

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