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Archive for November, 2013

8.00am
When Peanut wakes up, she wants to go downstairs immediately to do her own thing.
Lion on the other hand will lie in bed with me and his dinosaur and just laze.

My left knee is a complete wash out today.
Too many lunges? Not doing the lunges correctly?
Hoping that the swim later will work out its kinks.

I also realised that I can raise my two broken toes higher than the rest of my toes. WTH.

Me: Gargh!
He: What's the matter?
Me: Too much pumpkin. Not enough knife.
He: We have a new knife! (Brandished new kitchen knife we bought.)
Me: Just out of the box? Not sharp enough.
He: Try it!
Me: Gargh!
He: What's the matter?
Me: After I said it wasn't sharp enough, I cut myself.
He: THE KNIFE HAS A SOUL!!!!!

While showering after swimming:
Peanut: Mummy why your tummy like that?
Me: Because you and 弟弟 live in my tummy for 9 months each. So the skin is stretched out. After you come out it cannot stretch all the way back anymore so the skin is loose.
Lion: (hugs me around my tummy) Mummy, your tummy is okay.

Lion: RAWWWRRRR!!!
Peanut: BRRRRIIIIINNGGG!
Daddy: What does that do?
Mummy: It's faerie dust!
Daddy: It makes 弟弟 sparkly!
Peanut: We're playing a game, Daddy! I'm trying to turn the 弟弟 dinosaur back into a kitty cat!
Lion: RAWRRR!!!

I turned the slow cooker to auto heat instead of high before leaving the house so the porridge was still not done when we got home and I had to finish it off on the stove.
Just goes to show that even if you cook the same thing every week you can still get it horribly wrong.

Find your fullest expression.

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lost in translation

Me: Why is she so upset?

He: Because someone called and yelled at her.

Me: Did you call him back and yell at him?

He: Yes.

Me: Did you tell him that he should never be rude to our staff again?

He: I can’t say that in Mandarin.

Me: So what did you tell him?

He: I told him not to be rude.

Me: And he said?

He: I don’t know. I can’t understand what he replied.

*facepalm*

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8.33am
It's Friday. I'm still sleepy like hell. Zzzzz…

I was sitting in my living room on Saturday afternoon drinking a glass of cold seltzer from the fridge and I thought to myself:
Damn! I have arrived! I don't even drink tap water at home anymore!
It was good while it lasted. Then I remembered that I am still living in a rental apartment so I'm still proletariat and cannot be considered landowning bourgeois.
So much for social mobility.

Please quote the NEW INITIALS in our reference number in your reply to us so that the current solicitor will be able to receive your letters without any aimless circulation.

^ THAT is all kinds of win. Thanks for taking the words out of my mouth.

5.30pm Power Flow
Last class for the week.
OUCH!!!

I still can't get over how someone came up to me yesterday and accused me of killing his client. Apparently her heart broke because made her a lousy offer.
That's a first.

My new Franklin Covey…

"The washing machine showed me a six. I wonder what that means?"
"Is six a rude number? Should we google?"
"Maybe it means 6kg. The washing machine can take 8kg. I wonder what will happen if I exceed?"
"Maybe it will explode in a cloud of soap bubbles."

I was chatting with Jeff last night when I finally remembered to ask him whether his brother had any yoga videos uploaded and what I should search to find them.
So apparently there are videos. There's also a blog.
I watched the video in fascination (omg! how the whiskers did he do that?!?) and then I read the blog…and read and read and read.
He writes about yoga and philo and chess and battlestar galactica and their correlation.
Man! Was he this weird as a kid? I swear I had no idea!!

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Sleep deficit!!
I had to drag myself out of bed then couldn't decide what to wear and took extra long to do make up…

While walking to the train:
If I layer my marshmallow mixture on non-stick paper powdered over instead of a tray, I could roll it like a swiss roll and make pinwheels maybe? Then I can just cut them like biscotti?
Hmmm…need to think this through some more.

7.19pm
Bleargh. Just left work. New secretary came today. Trying to play catch up on the mail situation.

I've hit a new height in technological advancement at work today.
I asked for more money to settle the hearing this morning from Court by Whatsapp.

10.10pm
Splitting vanilla pods and topping up dark rum to refresh my home made vanilla essence for Christmas.
Mmmm mmmm mmmmm…

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Joy is walking to the clinic in the evening with one kid holding each hand and singing on the top of your voices “Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!” like you just don’t care.

Joy is having the kiddies declared free of HFMD by the nice doctor, who didn’t lose his patience even after Peanut and Lion asked him a billion questions about the equipment on his table and why they can’t lie on the examination bed.

Joy is breaking to the kiddies that to celebrate the end of their quarantine, they will be headed to the zoo tomorrow with Daddy and Daddy’s aunt and cousins.

But.

I have a hearing this morning so I am not going to be in the zoo with them.

So I sat up writing cross-examination all night and will miss the kiddies horribly in between asking my questions in a cold room and yearning to walk in the sun with those little smiling faces while waiting for the right answers.

Sigh.

*

This morning in the car while The Other Half was dropping me off at my building, I pointed out the Subordinate Courts to the kiddies and told them that Mummy goes there to fight cases.

Peanut asked: What are cases, Mummy?

I replied: Sometimes, people get into arguments and fights. So they go to that building to try to settle their fights. Mummy’s job is to help them settle their fights.

Lion asked: Mummy, you go there and fight? With swords?

I replied: No no! Mummy doesn’t fight with swords. Mummy fights with a pen. And the pen is mightier than a sword!

Before we knew it, we were at my building. I said goodbye to the kiddies and wished them a good day at the zoo.

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12.37am
The end of cross examination made bearable with new pens!

The fountain pen is a Herlite which I bought because it was less than $10 and came in one of my favourite shades of aquamarine. BUT the nib is scratchy and uneven. I discarded the original cartridge and loaded a Monteverde. It makes it marginally better. I am still disappointed.

Below is a Herlite rollerball which runs on fountain ink cartridges. It writes like a dream, I tell you! And it looks so cutesy. I bought it to lend people in Court so that I don't have to hand over my fountain pen and I can embarrass grown men into returning my cutesy pen after suffering the indignity of using it in the presence of authority.

I am sick like that.

Was in hearing from 9am to 12noon.
I'm so tired I could just put my head down on my desk except that I actually have another hearing tomorrow to get up for.
And people are starting to complain about how I'm not answering my mail.
Groan.

I'm also reminded today why I don't like to go on with hearings: I don't like putting the other lawyer in a position where his client could potentially snipe at him and blame him for the deficiencies of the case. It is not nice to be in that position. All of us are just trying to do our best and we really don't need this.

5.30pm Power Flow
I went into an assisted hand stand!!

Night 2 of preparing cross-examination questions.
I wonder which genius took this back-to-back hearing dates for me.

Useless knowledge you look up while procrastinating:
My saint name day is 31 December! Good reason to feast on New Year's Eve!

Random conversation in Court today:
CG: Don't take a date close to Christmas.
SK: Why? Holiday period should be quite free right?
Me: Dude! We are Catholics! Why you so culturally insensitive?!
CG: Yah! We all drunk from Christmas to New Year! Don't you know that?!
SK: Okay! Okay! Anyway I also not free. I have to go hospital.
Me: Is your wife expecting? Congrats!
CG: Are you even married?!?
SK: Tsk! Why you also so culturally insensitive?!?!

11.33pm
Calling it a night! Woohoo!!

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Quarantine Day 9

8.55am
Maybe I should have late starts everyday. There's no one breathing down my neck in the train! No one's pushed against my handbag! I can stand with my legs hip-width distance apart!

Why can't we be happy for the achivements of others without our own hidden agendas lurking beneath it?

I have only one word:
KARMA

Stuck one of these old school coconut candies into my coffee this morning. Yummy.

1.23pm
Some people make you so angry that you need to take 2 moments to calm down and think of a rational reply.
Also, I just realised that it takes a lot of effort to be aggro with people. How my aggro opponents sustain that aggro (all day! every day!) is completely beyond me. Three combative letters on and I want to give up and just call the bugger and ask him politely what his problem is and how we can work around his issues.
In the words of The Buddha: I am too nice for me own good.

I am clearly not meant for bigger things. I am defeated by my own lack of sustained aggro-ness.

3.02pm
I saw T raiding the stationery cupboard on my way to the toilet and I took a BOX of yellow highlighters.
For some reason, that made me irrationally happy.

Maybe this blog should be re-titled:
A day in the life of a dysfunctional lawyer

How is it that you call someone to tell him to look out for a fax, then you faxed it over and text him again, then 24hours later he can tell you he didn't get it but he couldn't be bothered to call to check anytime during the 24 hours?!
Talk about complete disinterest.

Then again, of course he is disinterested. He's not the one who has to sit up all night preparig cross-ex.

But I don't understand disinterest in our area of work. How can you not care about what you're doing? How?? It drives me nuts!!

7.45pm
Kids have been cleared of HFMD! Quarantine ends!! Yay!!

8.47pm
I was so annoyed I went to Art Friend and bought two pens.
I now carry five pens in my handbag on a normal day.
I am paralysed by choice.

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