Archive for October, 2010

battle of the bulge

He: Hey! All the exercising works! My pants are looser!

She: Erm…that’s because you didn’t zip them.

He: You’re right! Oh well. It was good while it lasted.

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Last Monday, The Buddha auctioned my [very yummy] packed lunch [of home made meat sauce and pasta] off and made me eat [a not very nice] lunch [of pretend Japanese food…how apt…] with one of our pretend friends who promised to give us work.

“I have objections to eating with a person who is incapable of maintaining a friendship which isn’t symbiotic,” I declared to The Buddha, but I went along in the end anyway, and had a reasonably fair time.


JT told me that one of the junior associates had said that if she were made to work for me, she’d quit long ago.

My first reaction was to laugh and asked JT whether she told said junior associate that she’d quit because she has no standard.

It was only later when I recounted the event to The Buddha that he told me that I should be offended instead of amused. No wonder JT was staring at me in a funny way when I started laughing.

“But everyone thinks I’m a bitch anyway,” I shrugged. “It’s so petty to get angry and complain about something stupid like that.”


The Buddha asked me how many people I considered my friends in the office, as in people I willingly socialised with outside of the office.

I thought for a while, then I counted School Marm, The Socialist, The Buddha and Stalin when he was here.

“Don’t you think there’s something wrong?” asked The Buddha. “I think this place is diseased.”

I laughed. But then you don’t have to be friends with people you work with, right? That was something that I always thought was the norm, which made me cherish my relationship with The Buddha all the more.

I remember a time in the past where I would not have lunch with pretend friends no matter what happens, where I would be seriously angry about remarks made by unsavoury people to others about me.

But over time, it just doesn’t seem important any more. Not that I have become any less principled or interested in life, it has all just become…trivial…compared to other things like being a completely happy person on my own with what I have. You can’t help what people think of you or can’t stop what people say to and about you.

What you can do is change the way you feel about it and then continue on being exactly who you are, believing what you believe in anyway, because that is the only way, as far as you are concerned, you know how to and should live.

Because ultimately, validation and quality and popularity are all just relative.

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learning from yourself

Conversation between The Buddha and I some time ago

He: You should have gone for the seminar with me. It was extremely informative. I learnt a lot.

She: But you were giving the seminar. Are you saying that you learnt a lot from yourself?

He: Hey, I personally read all of the material to prepare for the seminar since the person who was supposed to help me is not around! I covered so much more depth than what she prepared for me before going away. It’s amazing how many dots you can join and the kind of logical leaps you can make while under stress.


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Telephone conversation with an opponent this morning

He: Hello. How are you? I sent you a counterproposal on the matter we have together.

Me: I just spent the last 20 minutes on the phone quarrelling with the CPF Board. Otherwise I am fine. I was on leave yesterday so I haven’t seen your counterproposal yet. I’ll look out for it and send you my reply later in the day.

He: I just love how you always share these intimate details of your life with me, you know.


I have come to realise that people do not actually want a real answer to the question “How are you”, which is why everyone is constantly stunned when I give them a proper, genuine answer instead of making the usual polite sounds.

Then why do they even bother asking anyway?

The mind boggles.

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Original Email

Our Tea lady would like to remind the owner of the cake as it has been nearly 2 weeks in the fridge.
Thank You.

The Socialist’s Reply

Aiyoyo, so ancient already!! Maybe by now the cake has evolved into some intelligent creature orreddy.
Eating it now would be cruel and unusual punishment for the cake.
Be careful hah, the cake may retain famous human rights lawyer [Name of lawyer] to petition the Court of Appeal to stop it from being eaten.

My Reply

Being a regular user of the freezer, I think there is a bottle of beer in there which has developed a cultural life to go with the cake.

The Socialist’s Reply

They may have even developed diplomatic relationship and exchanged ambassadors, and even cultural exchanges by their respective symphonic orchestras.
Come to think about it, the beer might hve been left behind by [Name of Colleague who left us 2 years ago]
So be careful hoh, throwing them out might become a UN Security council event …….

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This is who we are, he thought — dusty, corroded, and dented from our voyages, with our unflagging hearts rattling on inside. We are made who we are by the dust and corrosion and dents and unflagging hearts. Why should we need anything else to fall in love?

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I put on a pair of new tights and wore my wedding jewellery. I carried my sleeping daughter on my lap all the way from our home to my parents’. I gingerly peeled back the shell of an egg, stained red, sprinkled salt and pepper on its just done yolk, and ate it with slices of French loaf out of the oven. I watched my daughter dance to her reflection in the hall mirror and my son roll over on the mattress in the hall, both giggling uncontrollably. I walked to the train station with Queen singing Don’t Stop Me Now and an overcast sky. I bought my drink du jour from the juice bar near the office, went up to the office and was told of the passing of someone I just met on Friday morning in Court. I sat at my desk, answered some mail, sent out an advice, called some people and spoke with others. I went to lunch with all of my support staff and then some, went back to the office, attempted to work some more, received a bouquet of flowers with a card that made me laugh like hell, then left work to return back to my parents’ to dance and read with my daughter, to coo over my son. I fell asleep on the sofa while my daughter watched a cartoon on television and my son napped on the mattress. I chatted with my mother and deep fried some dumplings. I ate noodles, received presents, had two slices of chocolate cake, put both my children to bed, took a shower, played a game and now I am sitting here at the computer, the only person left awake in this room.

I turned 30: I am a mother of two, a partner of a law firm, the youngest of three daughters, four years into my marriage.

I like perfume, flowers, Ayn Rand and good chocolate cake, all of which I received over a 24-hour period in celebration of my third decade on this earth.

I am much loved and am thankful for making through another year largely unscathed.

Here’s to another wonderful year ahead.

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